When someone does or says something that makes you really angry or really sad, you have an amazing opportunity to shift your consciousness and take it to the next level. I realize it doesn’t feel like that in the moment, but there are some things you can do to transform anger or sadness (which are really forms of fear) into a new way of thinking that will stop people from being able to trigger you.
There are a couple of reasons why you get triggered:
- You are holding a belief about yourself that isn’t true.
- You are doing the same thing in a different way.
Let’s break these down with some examples.
When you’re holding on to something that isn’t true about yourself, the person triggering you is your mirror and opportunity to recognize that and let it go. And this is how you know you are holding an untrue belief about yourself: If you didn’t believe it, you wouldn’t react.
I use an example from Kyle Cease. He talks about how if someone comes up to you and sneers at you and says “you are a horrible parent. I feel sorry for your kids” and you get upset, it’s because something inside of you is feeling the “I’m not good enough” core belief. And you know this is so because if a person came up to you and sneered and said “you’re a purple alien. I feel sorry for your kids.” you probably are not going to react. You’ll just think that person has a very interesting perspective about who they believe you are. Can you see the difference? Every opinion another person has about you is just that – THEIR opinion. But when you feel it as truth, you’ve got an untrue belief about yourself. I’ll tell you how to fix that in a minute.
I Know You Are, But What Am I?
The second reason is that you are doing the same thing in a different way (or maybe even the same way). For example, once when my kids were small we took them to Chuck E. Cheese. And I have always been very “primal” in my protective instinct where my kids are concerned. Well, they were off playing and my husband and I were at the table. I got up to go to the restroom and my husband asked me to take my purse with me. I just looked at him funny and said “I don’t think anyone is going to steal it”, but I took it anyway.
Later, I was looking around because I couldn’t see all the kids. If you’ve ever been to Chuck E. Cheese, you know they have a sort of security protocol where you can’t enter without getting an invisible stamp for you and your children that matches so no one can leave with a kid that isn’t theirs. There is only one way out and they monitor that. So I’m looking around and starting to do the primal panic thing and my husband says “I don’t think anyone is going to steal them”.
Well I had to laugh, because that was such a good way to point out to me that I was doing the same thing he was, only I couldn’t tell (until he pointed it out). So when you are judging an action or a way of thinking in someone else, it’s very likely you have the same way of judging or thinking.
Let’s Do This
For the first example, you realize you have an untrue belief about yourself, but what it is? There are several types of “core wounds” we get from just living here and being born on Earth. My thoughts are that they are one of the following:
- I’m not good enough
- I’m not safe
- I’ll be all alone
- I’m not understood
So which one are you feeling when you get triggered? When you’re sad because you just found out your ex-wife has a new boyfriend, it’s probably the “I’m not good enough” core wound. When you feel like your best friend is suddenly not really “getting” you and not really listening anymore, it’s probably the “I’m not understood” belief.
Somewhere along your life you picked up these incorrect beliefs and they accumulated. And now your fellow humans (who are parts of The All, just like you) are trying to reflect these back so you can come into alignment with who you really are.
Once you figure out which untrue belief you’re holding, you can stop believing it. I like to journal about what might have happened in my past to lead me to that belief. What did I see others do, what did people say to me as a child? What does our culture tell us?
When I was channeling about Queen Elizabeth I and how she didn’t want to get intimately involved with any men, I realized she had a strong “I’m not safe” core belief. Who could blame her when her mother literally lost her head over her father? So she was afraid she would lose her ability to maintain her strength and that she wouldn’t be able to trust that her partner (or any man) wouldn’t try to take advantage of her because of how well they knew her. And ultimately she would die.
So when you look at your beliefs from this vantage point, you can see that they just aren’t true. Also, keep in mind that you are eternal. Yes, we want to stay in this life and learn as much as possible and have all of the great experiences that come with it. Yes, we want to do the light-worker job we came here to do and help humanity. But that starts with remembering that you are love. That’s it. Anything else is a distortion or corruption of the truth of who you really are.
Keep that in mind the next time you feel triggered and know that it is always for your benefit and use it to help you remember the love and light that you are.
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Magic Mirror image courtesy of https://www.shopdisney.com/ – Magic Mirror Photo Frame © Disney, Disney Entertainment
Portrait of Queen Elizabeth the 1st – Attrib. Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger, The Rainbow Portrait, c1600, © Hatfield House
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