Past life regression transcript – November 8, 2016
I had originally posted my thoughts on this life, but the post has disappeared. I know I made the post because there are links to it in several other places that no longer work. Here is the transcript from that session. I did some research that night when I got home. Surprisingly, there weren’t many children murdered in the U. S. at that time, and in looking at pictures and researching their families, I was able to locate who I think my sister was (photo below).
What are the first things that you see around you?
It’s dark and there’s like a really bright light. It’s like when you go to a football game or something at night. It’s really dark out, but there’s like a white light. Like a really bright artificial light coming from my left, only I don’t see anything. It’s just completely dark except for this one light. I think I see grass.
What are the first feelings and impressions that you have?
“Home” was the word that popped into my head right away. And now it feels like I’m on a street in a neighborhood. It’s a paved road and there are trees lining the road, but I don’t see the houses very clearly.
There are houses?
I think so. I think I’m in a neighborhood. Okay now I see a house on my left. It’s just like a two story house with black shutters. It’s night time still. It has – the roof is like the one on my house now. Well, it doesn’t look like my house now. I’m not sure if it’s my house or just a house that I noticed.
Look down at your feet. Do you have anything on your feet?
Yep. It seems like – the first impression I got was that I have on boots that come to my knees and they’re like reddish brown suede and they have fringe on them. Either on the sides or the back. I guess for decoration.
Look at your legs and your torso. Are you wearing any clothes? If you have clothes on, what do they look like?
(Laughing) I look like a hippy, I’m wearing like hippy clothes. They’re like bold patterns and both the pants and the shirt… I can’t see them very clearly but they’re definitely hippy looking. And some kind of weird vest thing. I’m gonna try to look at my hair and my face… I can’t tell if I’m a kid or a teenager. I can’t tell if I’m male or female either. I think I’m maybe a male. I’m not sure.
Stretch your hands in front of you and look at them. Are you male or female? Are you holding anything?
I think they’re male. Not holding anything.
Do you have any decorations on your body?
How old are you?
Twenty just popped into my head. That’s not what I would have guessed, but I’ll go with that.
Do you want to say any more about what you look like?
I have glasses on. And there’s a ring on this finger. It’s gold but it doesn’t look like a wedding ring. It’s like some kind of… I can’t tell. I think I’ve got a head band on. To me it looks goofy because I don’t dress like that right now. But I guess it was “the thing”. I have dark hair. It’s kinda… not curly curly, but curly enough that if you brush it, it poofs out. That’s it.
Are there any others with you?
No. I’m standing in the street by myself in the dark.
Explore the important events in this life.
I’m trying to move to a happy or the happiest event. I think that might have been my house because it seems like I’m at a birthday party. It’s like I met somebody at this party or something. Like it was important because I met somebody in particular. Give me a second and I’ll see if I can figure out what’s going on…
You can go backward and forward in time to learn more about the story and how it unfolds.
There is a girl there with blonde hair and I know I said I thought I was meeting somebody, but this girl just seems like my sister. I don’t know why there’s a focus… Let me see if I know who that is… So when I was asking myself in my head ‘is that somebody that I know from this life?’ my brother, Eric’s name popped into my head. Then I was asking if there was something about my sister in that life that I’m supposed to know. Why do I keep seeing the sister? She died. That’s not a happy memory! The party is a happy memory, but the relationship – I was asking about that so they said she died.
How did she die?
Feels like she was abducted or… Abducted is not the right word. It’s like when a stranger – like a killer chooses to kill somebody and they don’t know them.
She was murdered?
And how old was she?
She looks like maybe… she’s not more than 14. (crying)
Is there anyone else at the party?
There are a lot of people at the party. Family. Maybe it was her birthday party. Maybe it was her last birthday party.
Do you recognize any of the people as people you know now?
You’re there, but I can’t tell who you are. I don’t know who you are at the party. You’re there, I just don’t know who you are. I’m looking at my parents trying to figure out if I know them. I know I’ve had other lives with them but I don’t know who they are.
Anyone else important?
I think Rob (my husband) is there somewhere. He’s one of the people at the party.
Do you know or suspect anything about your sister’s murder?
No. It was just – she was there and we all expected her to be there forever, and then all of a sudden she just wasn’t there anymore. I think they found… they found the person, but who cares? She’s gone. Why did it have to be her? It’s like cutting out a whole section of your life that you don’t get to explore anymore. It’s like everything is written on a piece of paper about your life and somebody comes along and cuts out a big section of it and you just can’t have that part anymore.
How did you deal with that?
Not very well. I was angry. I let it interfere with everything. Because that seemed unfair, everything for the rest of that life – I just thought everything was unfair. I just had this… it was like I was looking through glasses of unfairness, so everything in the whole life that I saw – everything just didn’t work out because of that.
Are you ready to move on to the last day of that life?
Okay, go to that last day of that life and experience how your spirit leaves the body without any pain or struggle.
I’m old. I’m trying to figure out where I am when I die. I didn’t expect that I would be so old. I think I must be in a nursing home or something. I think she was my only sibling. I don’t think I had family. Maybe I did. Not sure. I feel like I was alone when I died.
What lessons did you learn in this life?
Hold on, I’m just leaving. I’m hovering nearby for a minute because I can’t… I’m confused. Not right now, but when I left that body. I’m hovering until I figure it out. Okay. Give me a minute…
It’s like I notice – like you hover and then you figure it out and then you notice the light, but it doesn’t look like an artificial light. It’s like a whiteness but it has a warmth, but not a physical warmth. It’s like a comforting feeling. So I’m hovering there and then I realize what’s happened and everything’s dark and then I notice this white, warm area. It kinda looks like a circle. I can see why people would say there’s a tunnel. Because you just become aware of it.
So then I’m like “Oh! Okay. Now I know what’s going on” and then I go through that white opening. It’s almost like on sci fi. It’s like a portal thing. But it doesn’t have very defined edges. It’s kind of fuzzy. Kinda like a fog and you go through that fog and then I’m in this very white interior of a building. But it’s huge. It just goes on and on, up and out. And there are all of these people and they’re all in white. That is weird. I’m looking for somebody I know. It’s like I’m expecting somebody to come along. Where are my people?
Let me see if I can find a guide or somebody to help me answer questions about that life.
I was supposed to go through that time of losing somebody that I loved and I was supposed to come out the other side of it stronger and with a better attitude toward life. I was hoping that I would have a better appreciation for living because she didn’t get to anymore. So I was supposed to appreciate it more. But instead I kinda went backwards. It didn’t work out. But it’s okay. He says it’s okay because once you’re out of the life and you can see the whole experience of it, you get it. He says that’s why I totally appreciate all kinds of different aspects of life now. Because I went through that life.
So maybe you didn’t get the main lesson in that life, but were there other things you learned?
Something about family. I enjoyed having a family – parents and a sister. I liked that family life. We were a close family. There was nothing dysfunctional there. That wasn’t something I went to figure out or anything, but that was something I enjoyed about it. Before everything went wrong. I had friends. Just the everyday stuff.
So how is this experience connected to your present life?
The losses that I’ve had that affected the whole entire rest of the life like this one (I didn’t know about this one) are what makes me fearful that I’ll lose people that I love in this life. It keeps me from doing what I want and letting them doing what they want – like my kids. I let them do it, but I’m fearful at the same time which is not ideal. And it’s because of all of these – because the imprint of the losses is so strong because the feeling of the loss lasted the longest in that life. She died when she was 14 and I lived to be 80 something so I had 60 years of pain and only 20 of good. When you have that much negative of a life, it has an impact and it’s cumulative unless you remember. Unless you can go “Oh, that was just this thing that I was trying to learn. It doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen this time”. So I need to remember to just live this life and stop worrying about things.
While you’re in that space in between, is there anything that you know about your sister that you didn’t know when you were alive? About her lessons?
She agreed to it. She had planned it. It wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t a freak thing. That was an experience she wanted and it was an agreement that we made. Like “Well, you wanna do this and I’ll see if I can endure that and learn from it”. She was perfectly happy to do that which sounds horrible. But she was smiling and ready to go. “Let’s go! Let’s do this life!” Didn’t bother her at all.
And do you recognize her?
I’m just seeing her as she was in that life. But it’s kinda Eric’s personality. “Let’s go! Let’s do this! Let’s try it.” Yep. I think it’s Eric.
So what’s important for you to know about your present life?
Just that the past – other lives are influencing this so when I feel fearful, I need to just realize it’s because of residual emotion that’s just stored in my bank of knowledge of all of the experiences of all the lives.There is a lot of negative, so if I’m fearful. I need to realize it’s holdover – it’s residual emotion and just breathe it out and let it go and don’t let it affect what I do today in this life.
Because I’m not here to be fearful. I didn’t come here for that. I came here to do whatever I wanted. If I let fear take over I don’t get to do what I want. “You’re messing it up” they said. (laughing) You’re messing it up. There is not going to be anything bad that’s going to happen, so let go of that and enjoy yourself because THAT is what you came here for: to enjoy yourself and to do whatever you want. To try whatever different things you want. That’s it.
- Linda Balabanow (age 17) was murdered in March, 1969 by serial killer Robert Zarinsky. This photo is exactly what my sister looked like at her birthday party – right down to the headband and smile. She had one brother who, to my knowledge, is still living. His name is Alan, and is the owner of a marketing and design company. My older brother Eric’s middle name is Alan, and he also owns a marketing and design company. I wonder now if I was actually Linda, and not Alan. I was born in November of 1969 (just months after Linda died). Although I don’t believe in lives having to be lived sequentially, I find these similarities interesting!